Pied Beauty

2006-07-13T15:15:00.000-07:00

Visit my new blog at PIEDBEAUTY.ORG

2006-05-11T22:35:00.000-07:00

Alright, I might as well comment like everyone else on the USA Today articled entitled NSA has massive database of Americans' phone calls. The gist of the article is that regardless of FISA laws, which requires a court order and due cause, the NSA (National Security Agency) and good ol' Bushy has demanded and he has been given (by every phone company but Qwest. Yeah Qwest!) all the records of the telephone calls we have made. I was listening to NPR today. They're calling it "social network analysis." The idea is that we each create a unique web of phone calls, so any sudden change in our web or connection from our web to a suspected terrorist web may be detected. Moreover, our unique web may be identified despite location/number changes. It is skeptical and creepy to say the least. Can I just say that it gives me the heebie jeebies? Suddenly all of my grandmother's stories of Nazi Germany come rushing into my mind. I know, you're thinking I am paranoid, but honestly after everything shady and underhanded this admininstration has done (do we remember Padilla, the nucs in Iraq, the torture), let's just say I don't want to trust in their good will, especially when this was done outside illegally. And all this auhtorization and classification bullshit is driving me nuts! What happened to the separation of power? I bet in thirty years we're going to look back and think, "How the hell did that happen?" (if we aren't already).

2006-05-08T17:09:00.000-07:00

There is a good post on Sally McFague, a femiinist theologian, over at TURN.

2006-05-08T17:02:00.000-07:00

Oh, the irony. They call this conference "Together for the Gospel," but completely eliminate half of the population. (Note their "Affirmation and Denials" Aritcle XVI.) I know I feel so united as the body of Christ... Don't you?

2006-05-04T00:43:00.000-07:00

Okay, this is a cool way of surveying our musical history... So you go to shuffle songs on your iPod and then list the first ten songs that are randomly selected from your library. I'm actually a bit nervous about this because, well, I have some very cheesy old school Christian music, but here goes...

1. Voule Vou...; Christina Aguilera; Moulin Rouge
2. I Was Lucky To Know Him; Mark Isham; October Sky Soundtrack
3. Encore 1; Les Miserables
4. Take Time; Lenny Kravitz; 5
5. The World is Black; Good Charlotte; The Chronicles of Life and Death
6. One Sweet World; Dave Matthews Band
7. The Economy of Mercy; Switchfoot; Learning to Breathe
8. Faceless Man; Creed; Human Clay
9. New York, New York; Frank Sinatra
10. Could I Be You; Matchbox 20; More Than You Think You Are

Wow, no cheesy Christian music, but I haven't listened to any of these songs in ages. Latest would be Good Charlotte; a friend just gave me their CD. Now its your turn to fess up to all the NSync you once bought...

2006-05-02T21:07:00.000-07:00

My lastest obssession is Imogen Heap. You may know her as the vocalist from the duo Frou Frou. Her new single, "Goodnight and Go," is awesome and now holds the coveted place of background music on my myspace page. These are the lyrics:

"Skipping beats, blushing cheeks I am struggling
Daydreaming, bed scenes in the corner cafe
And then I'm left in bits recovering tectonic tremblings
You get me every time

Why d'ya have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go"

Ahhhh! She is saying exactly how I feel about a certain someone... I hate it! He is too great! I wish he didn't exist (but only because he's not madly in love with me). Unrequited love seems to be my lot in life.

2006-05-01T19:45:00.000-07:00

Meditation On A Beluga:

I love aquariums. When I was in sixth grade, I was an avid member of the Marine Society and dreamed of becoming an oceanographer. Since then I am content to stare at fish while scuba diving, but I still love aquariums. So Shannonn and I went to the Vancouver Aquarium where we happened to see the beluga whales perform. During the show, the trainer mentioned that beluga whales have forty percent body fat. And if you notice, they are not very pretty. In that moment, I had a revelation. God made Beluga whales. And they are fat and ugly. But that is how God made them and that is beautiful. Simple, I know. But like most women, I am susceptible to society's vision of beauty, and it was profound to realize that maybe, just maybe, "they" are wrong. I love belugas.

See the slideshow of my Vancouver Pictures HERE.

2006-04-25T20:36:00.000-07:00

I am back from Vancouver! Wohoo! It was so fun to get away and experience a new, stranger place. I really LOVE to travel. It didn't really register that I was going to a foreign country until I got there and got fun, colorful money. But basically, everything was the same. There was a Starbucks on every corner, and the cars drove on the right side of the road. The best part was spending loads of quality time with my best friend, Shannon. But it also made me realize a few things. First, I am used to being independent. And I like it! I make decisions and never have to wonder whether someone beside me concurs. I was happy to return to my own egocentric life. (Remember that next time I start griping about how the universe has conspired against me to keep me sad and alone forever.) Second, I actually enjoy solitude. Being with someone 24/7 is draining, especially for two high energy women like Shannon and me. I can only take so much laughing and foolishness. Yes, I know its hard to believe, but I am not happy and hyper all the time. For once I was glad to be alone. Third, friends are really great. Shannon and I have known each other since freshman year of college when we were randomly assigned to live together. We were roomies through out college and have stayed more or less close since. All that to say, she knows me well, probably better than anyone, and she loves me and encourages me. That is so precious. It was good to soak up all the love she had to give. But before I get really sappy... she also shows me (inadvertantly) my shortcomings. It was a glimpse into marriage. She forced me to be less selfish (though sometimes I wasn't) and to, well, just be a nicer person. So there you go, the personal reflections on Joy's vacation to Vancouver. Of course, these reflection haven't told the many wonderful adventures on bikes, buses, and feet, but those will come when I post the pictures (which will be next month b/c I ran out of download space on Flickr but some are on there).

2006-04-17T17:51:00.000-07:00

As some of you may know, there was a variety of protests led by Cardinal Mahoney through out the country last monday in response to a new immigration bill, which would control immigration by raising illegal immigration to a felony. Here is an L.A. Times article on a recent protest. Ever since, the issue of immigration has been recurrent and I don't exactly know how to respond. My friend, Wess Daniels, has a great dialogue going on the issue. There are several difficult issues. First, I approach the issue from the standpoint of a liberation theologian,which reminds us of the message of the prophets and the example of God's action on behalf of the oppressed people of Israel in Egypt. God is on the side of the socially marginalized. Note the example of Jesus, who counted tax collectors, prostitutes and drunkards as among his friends and disciples not the wealthy and politically powerful. In our society immigrants are undoubtedly among this population. Second, I would like to note the positive presence that Latino immigrants have in the US. The Evloution of the Mexican-born Workforce in the U.S., written by two Harvard economists, is an informative and provocative look at actual role immigrants play in our economy. Our economy is dependent on their cheap labor, which is unacceptable in my opinion. Third, one of the biggest issues seems to be enforcement. Whatever policy we choose, it must be implemented with justice and efficiency. Even if we had the perfect response, if it is not enforced (without violence or militarization, of course) we will still have the same problem. Finally, we need to look at the broader issue. What is bringing immigrants to America? The jobs and lack of sustainable jobs in their country. Our country so often becomes the focus of immigration that we forget that Mexico is part of the problem. Holly has written a post on the need for just trade between the US and Mexico. That's just some thoughts for now as I explore this issue. I'll be posting more in the future and would appreciate any insight or observation you have.

2006-04-17T17:47:00.000-07:00

I never told ya'll about how I marched in a Peace Parade on Palm Sunday. It was my first experience with direct involvement in social action. I was suprised at how much fun it was. There was no anger or force; we weren't even overly serious. We were sending out a powerful message, but I was just walking with my friends from Pasadena Mennonite and Fuller Seminary. There were a few encouraging car honks along the way and lots of staring, but I don't mind attention (as you probably know). We walked with signs, such as the ones below, and palm branches. I stole my sign from Kent. I love it because it brings the issue of torture, human rights and violence very close to home. It also made realize how simple social action can be when you are part of a community seeking justice. We did it together, and it was fun and easy. I would never have done had I not know Wess, Barry, Holly, and lots of others were going to meet me and walk with me. In fact, I was later invited to go to a candlelight vigil in L.A. by Barry, which I wouldn't have known about or had the courage to go to without him. Sadly, I couldn't go.

2006-04-17T15:49:00.000-07:00

Pictures from Easter, which I hosted! My first holiday! Yeah!

Below is my Mom, Aunt Ruth, Omi and Caitlin

Me and my divine salmon bisque

My brother, Nick

Rosa and I

2006-04-17T15:45:00.000-07:00

Look at my adorable cousins! Lily (8 months), Isaac (6 yrs) and Amanda (4 yrs). I love 'em so much!

2006-04-13T14:44:00.000-07:00

Joy's Story of the Day:

Okay, so I am at work, and this lady comes up wearing a maroon velour jumpsuit (a bit passe dontcha think) with USC Trojans emroidered loudly across the front. To make conversation I ask, "So were you bummed when we lost to USC?"

She looks at me (very soberly) and says, "It was my fault." At which point, I am wracking my mind trying to think of how it could be her fault. Obviously she wasn't playing, so maybe she involved with coaching or the equipment or related to a player or something. "I didn't intercede." What the? "I was supposed to be praying for the game, but my kids were texting me, and I got distracted." So I respond by saying that it surely cannot be solely her fault. Others should have been praying too... "No, sometimes God sends a message but only one person receives it. I received it and didn't pray." She continues with a story of the USC vs. Notre Dame game. God didn't even want her to watch the game but to pray. She actually had to leave to house so she wouldn't watch it. But guess what? They won the game in the last seven seconds. And so she bought Wagner's book on prayer and left. What the ^&*%? Because don't you know God wants us to pray for football over starving children or sickness!?! Ridiculous. We should pray for her.

2006-04-12T19:08:00.000-07:00

Love this picture. Sometimes I feel like she does.

2006-04-11T23:43:00.000-07:00

I climbed a tree today. It was brilliant. Simply divine.

2006-04-09T09:42:00.000-07:00

Can I just tell everyone how insanely obssessed with David (Dah-veed) Garza I am. He is the shit, frickin' amazing!!! I want to eat him all up! I even listen to him in the shower. Yes!

2006-04-09T09:11:00.000-07:00

This is funny. I have started teaching Sunday School for the 3rd to 5th graders. Last week I showed up about an hour early to prepare my lesson. I had just read through the lesson when a girl walks in and then a boy. I had totally forgotten about daylight savings time. Ah! So we roughly went through the lesson and went on a nature walk. LOL, it was totally fine, but this week I was even more anxious about preparing the lesson. I went over it last night and got here an hour and a half early this morning. Now, it is 9.15 (it starts at 9.45) and I have nothing to do so I am posting. I am so silly!

On a more serious note... you may know that I have taken this quarter off completely. With all the family yuck and ensuing school stress of last quarter, learning was not fun. So here I am living life to the hilt. I seriously have been to Hollywood more this week than I have in the last year! I went to see the David Spade Show, Dah-veed at the Largo, and I went to the Rainbow Room (so not as cool as I thought). Anyway, it has been fun but challenging in very different ways. The most difficult part of it has been the comments by others (and my internal over-achiever). So many people respond to my break with a look of disbelief and just say, "So what do you do with your time?" As if time is hard to fill. I am doing all those things that you always want to do but never have time. Like organize your closet or scrapbook all your pictures. Look, I am trying to justify my break to the anonymous internet void. It just pisses me off because they don't know how I am feeling or what I am going through. Grrrr... and yet I also impose those expectations on myself. I find myself feeling guilty for not being stressed out or over-worked and sleep-deprived. Why can't I just spend an afternoon journaling and reading for pleasure or not reading if I don't feel like it? Stupid judgmental workaholics. Dammit I think I am one of them.

Concurrently, I have also realized how unfulfilling it is to gain your sense of value from achievement or success in the eyes of others. This quarter I am not catering to the demands of academia or professors or competition with other students, so no kudos to bolster Joy's self-esteem. And I feel totally crappy about last quarter. I took a PhD seminar with one of the most reknowned professors of philosophy (never my strong suit). Anyways, the first half of the quarter was spent rewriting papers that were apparently shit. And the second half I was dealing with family and fell two weeks behind in work. Add to it the incomplete I took in my other class and you get an overall feeling of failure. Blugh. I hate failure. It sucks. I know know your supposed to learn something from it but whatever. So, grades came out on Wednesday and would you believe it, I got a full-on A in her class!!! And she loved the last paper I wrote! Woohoo! So I felt great for about a day. And then the high left and I was back where I started from. Even the elation of an A in the hardest class I have ever taken was not enough to change my sense of confidence or self-esteem. All that to say, I am realizing how I cannot find my identity or value in what I do or what others think of me. And it is so easy to do because others always think higher of me than I do myself. Inside this bubbly, outgoing personality is a little girl who seriously doubts her worth. Just thinking about it I feel the tears. God, transform me. Let me see your beauty within me. May I live my life in the comfort of your grace and love. You are my audience of One.

2006-04-05T21:20:00.000-07:00

I know, I am a negligent blogger. And I have had the greatest story to post. It happened two weeks ago! So, I was making microwave popcorn at work. I never make it... grew up on the real stuff made in the pan. So I put it in the micro for four minutes like the package says and wander off to chat with my friendly coworker Wess. So about three minutes later Susan, my boss, goes running down the hall and I look up to see smoke billowing out of the break room. Ten seconds later, the fire alarm goes off. And here I am hoping that the alarm only went off in the offices, but no, it went off in the cafe and the bookstore. And we couldn't turn it off - only the fire dept. could when they came fifteen minutes later. Well, it was good you know... like free air freshener... only it was burnt popcorn... ewwww.... So the next day my other boss, Dave, told me the story of how he did the same thing when he was working at Abercrombie and Fitch except he set off the fire alarm for the whole mall! That made me feel a little better.

2006-03-15T15:11:00.000-08:00

Sundays are my favorite days. I cherish them, anticipate them and relish them. LOL, but truly they feed my soul. I sleep in, go to church at eleven, which is always nice. And then... then I have the whole afternoon to myself. I can do whatever I want and go wherever I feel. Its lovely. And I always buy lunch/dinner. Last Sunday I went to this little hole-in-the-wall and had juevos rancheros. God, I love juevos rancheros. Mmmmm... Usually I end up going to a coffeeshop. I sit there leisurely and read and listen to music. I just got these great new headphones because Izzy chewed my old ones. They are so comfy and block out all other sound. So I choose the soundtrack for my afternoon and sit in anonymity and think, ponder, dream... And because I cannot hear I feel separated from the world. I am the transcendent spectator, invincible and untouchable. I am alone in a world of imagination and possibility and freedom. Sigh. Just thinking about it my soul soars. LOL, I am so quixotic and melodramatic. I have a new favorite spot in Borders. There is this huge window with a window seat on the second floor overlooking the street, so I look out the mountains or people watch until well after the sun has set. And then I go home and watch Grey's Anatomy with my roomie. And that is why Sundays are my favorite days. Crap, its only Wednesday. Four days of stress and finals to go.... Bleh.

2006-03-03T00:26:00.000-08:00

You are the Lord our God, who brought your people out of Egypt so that they would no longer be slaves; You broke the bars of their yoke and enabled them to walk with heads held high.
Leviticus 26.13

Come to me all you who are weary and carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Matthew 11.28-30

2006-03-02T23:57:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the delay. I am so sick of thinking and talking about my brother... So if I haven't called you or talked to you about it, sorry. It is kind of exhausting, but its seems like I cannot stop thinking about him. But it would be sad if I could just forget about my brother on command. So he pled guilty to a misdemeanor and is getting out of jail next week, which scares me. He will basically be homeless and I have no idea what he will do. As part of his parole, the court ordered him to report to the Dept. of Behavorial Health and enroll in their program. I doubt he will do it. I mean, he ended up in jail because he didn't want to get help. So, that's it. I still feel churned up and am beginning to wonder whether I am just grieving or clinically depressed.

On to happier things, my mom and I went to see Curious George after the trial to distract ourselves. You should know that I have been a Curious George fan since high school, so my opinion may be biased. It was great! I am absolutely smitten with George! He was adorable and made the cutest faces! And I usually don't like cartoons, but its a winner. I have already decided to buy it.

I visited my grandma, Omi, last week. She is fabulous - one of my favorite people. We went to see Something New with Sanaa Lathan (Brown Sugar, Love and Basketball). It was neat to see the struggles of an interracial couple. I have always been intimidated by inter-cultural relationships. It would be so difficult, but nobody ever talks about how to deal with it or how it can be great. Still in the end, the movie was just a cute chick flick.

I am giving up sugar for Lent. What am I thinking? Let's see if I can do it. I tried once in undergrad and only made to day twenty.

Guess what? Wait, first I have to give you background. 1) I never pray (well, more as of late, but usually, never). 2) I can sleep forever and through anything. So, Guess what? On Monday morning, God woke me up at 6:30AM to pray!!! I know! It was cool. I just woke up, and thought, "I need to get up and talk to God." That should have started my post.

2006-02-22T23:13:00.000-08:00

Omigod, I just finished leading a three-hour discussion on Alasdair MacIntyre (philosopher).
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh... Its so nice to be done.

But the purpose of this post is to solicit prayer for my brother. His trail is tomorrow. Pray for justice as mental treatment. Jail would not help him.

2006-02-21T15:30:00.000-08:00

I know, its been ages since I posted. Mostly because I have had nothing to stay and still don't. Life has continued despite its suckiness. My brother's trail is on Thursday. I covet your prayers. Please pray that he will opt for psychiatric treatment as opposed to jail time. (Who wouldn't?) He is stubborn about not needing help. Much to our frustration. This process has made me profoundly aware that even though I cannot make decisions for my brother or fix him, his decisions affect those around him powerfully and deeply. I guess that is life as a human in community. Its not fair. I also need divine motivation in school. Honestly, now that the emotional drama has passed, it feels like a cloud has settled around me. I feel weary in my soul, yet I am supposed to be as productive and efficient as ever. I just don't want to read philosophy, okay. It really doesn't seem important right now, but I have to. So that's the update.

2006-02-10T11:17:00.000-08:00

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I bear pain in my soul,
and have sorrow in my heart all day long?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

Consider and answer me, O Lord my God!
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death,
and my enemy will say, "I have prevailed";
my foes will rejoice because I am shaken.

But I trusted in your steadfast love (hesed);
my heart shall rejoice in you salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
because he has dealt bountifully with me.

- Psalm 13

2006-02-09T00:05:00.000-08:00

So, my brother beat my mom and is in jail. And this is after a psychotic weekend of 911 calls and hospital visits. Talk about trauma. My mother and I have filed a restraining order and tomorrow is his arraignment. Ugh. Bleh. Yuck. This sucks. I feel totally overwhelmed. I want to be an ostrich and just stick my head in the sand. That would be nice. Usually I am so in control of my life. I know what to do and how to do it. And I do it well. But I just don't know. I mean, I guess I can't really do anything, but I don't even know how to feel. There is a tumult of emotions swirling about inside me. Its not very helpful for writing papers. And now I am legally protected from my own brother. He cannot come within 200 yards of me. How odd! My own brother, the one who gives me chocolate, tea and a rock with "Love" engraved on it, who held me when I was crying at my grandfathers funeral, who took me hiking and rockclimbing. I feel as though he is dead and some monster has taken his place. I wish I could find peace and be quiet and still. And all the chaos would settle down. Just float down like feathers back into the world of normalcy. I would even settle for boring and mundane. And don't you dare say that there is peace in God. Sometimes life sucks and there is no peace. If only I could awake from this nightmare.

2006-02-08T01:49:00.000-08:00

On Monday I babysat a three year old and a six month old. While I loved it, I felt fragmented. Sometime while I was trying to make lunch with a baby on my hip, I thought, Do I really want four kids? Or do I just want more time between them? I do love kids though. And you know why? Well, let me tell you. Kids accept you as you are. They say (I guess the "they" is psychologists) that the greatest human need is unconditional love. Kids give that. Or maybe they think adults have it all together and are SO cool, but they're really just naive. Either way, they never try to conform me to some idea of what is socially acceptable and appropriate. Kids like it when you're silly and off-the-wall. They don't care what you're wearing or how much you weigh or what grade you got on the last paper or how productive you've been or who you're dating. They are able to do what I always try but never succeed: they let go. They just want to have fun. They see the miracles we rush by and stand in awe of common beauty. And they have absolutely no conception of time, that's one similarity we share. No wonder Jesus liked kids.

2006-01-28T00:52:00.000-08:00

Alright, I am still pissed off at the control money has over me ever since I began my budget. So I was wondering, is there anyone out there who is responsible with their money and doesn't feel like it rules their life? Maybe its just me. How do you reconcile Jesus' complete abandonment of money and even possessions with our lifestyles? Money seems to be a necessary evil, but is that just the assumptions of my culture speaking?

2006-01-26T21:33:00.000-08:00

One of my New Years' resolutions is to make a budget and stick to it. So, this is my first month and I just hate it. I hate money. I wish it didn't exist. I hate it that I can't forget about it, that I have to be responsible and conscious of it all the time. I hate the way I have to be controlled by it, the way it dictates what I can and cannot do. Can't I just live my life free from the constraints of money? I am reminded of what Christ said. We cannot serve two masters, but in some sense I must acknowledge the power of money. I should just sell everything I own and be a wandering vagabond. So there.

2006-01-25T20:52:00.000-08:00

Academia sucks today. I feel stupid and apathetic. Thank God for self-discipline. Ha! Like I have any! But for the precious little I do have I am thankful.

This is an article on Amnesty International's web called Five Stories: Women Human Rights Defenders. This is what I want to do when I grow up. Seriously though. Sometimes I dread that I will end up with my PhD in feminist ethics, reading and writing books, theorizing, teaching rich white kids and doing absolutely nothing to bring the kingdom of God. Christ save me from a life of mediocrity.

2006-01-19T21:03:00.000-08:00

I went to the Norton Simon with Jeremy on Monday. When I saw this painting, I immediately felt an affinity with this woman. I think it's because she looks a bit like me, is beautiful and has great taste (I love her dress!). Still, it was the story behind this painting that really moved and challenged me. The painter is a woman who chose exile over supporting a government she disapproved of. She challenges me to be a prophetess and to fight against systemic injustice. How difficult it must have been for her as a perpetual foreigner and an artist to boot! Thepotrait is of the Countess of Kinsky, who was forced into an arranged marriage. She met her husband at their wedding. Immediately after the ceremony he abandoned her to go to his mistress. The painting reminds me of my privilege and the ensuing responsibility. I could be her, forced into a marriage for economic and political reasons. But I can marry for love and pursue the career of my choice. I must live my dreams fearlessly and boldly and always remember how many women came before me and suffered under patriarchy, women who never had the chance to test their wings or follow their hearts.

2006-01-19T19:42:00.000-08:00

In Memorium:

On Friday the Thriteenth of January Two-Thousand Six, the computer owned by Joy Cheri Stefoni crashed and died. All pictures, papers and personalization dating back to 1996 were lost. Let us honor these memories and hard work with a moment of silence.

*weeping, wailing and the renting of clothing*

Doesn't that just suck? I lost it all. Hence the length between posts. Yes, I cried, multiple times actually. And all over a piece of equipment. Sigh. Well, moving on to bigger things in Joy's life... I unintentionally dyed a pair of pants yesterday. They were khaki, but after the attack of a new red rug (I should have known better), they are decidedly pink. But I totally love them! The color is surprisingly consistent, and I feel like I have a new pair of pants. Of course they were new already. Yep, they were the famous pair of size six pants. I am so jazzed about my one-of-a-kind pants that I am going to try it on other pants. Specifically, the other ruined pair that turned a funky maroon color. I'm thinking brown.

On a more depressing note, I have had an awful start to my quarter. Let us just say that there have been three Bs in Joy's life in the last two weeks. I know, I feel idiotic and apathetic. Pray for me. Actually, two of them became A-s and the third will become an A, but I still feel totally defeated academically. I must have gotten cocky after last quarter, which totally rocked. I was so inspired and encouraged. Now, I feel like escaping to Figi. Any takers? Lets meet at the Garth tomorrow at noon.

Random Topic: I bought this totally awesome CD by James Blunt. You might have heard his song You're Beautiful. I LOVE the whole CD and am listening to it right now. Sigh. Its so romantic, melancholy and full of angst. I love drama.

2006-01-10T22:34:00.000-08:00

These are some of my pictures from my trip to visit Rosa in Chicago...

Rosa and Joy iceskating in downtown Chicago!

I LOVE this picture! Rosa could not stop laughing!

Rosa and I took a trip up to Wisconsin. Of course, Rosa and I had to hit every coffeeshop on the way. This was my favorite. The view was breathtaking.

Rosa and I took a hike in the snow to see a lighthouse...

So I would never live in Wisconsin, but I have to say that I liked it - cheese curds and all.

And then I got the stomach flu... Ewwww... But I bought a size 6 after, so it had its upside.

I met two of my best friends from high school whom I had not seen in six years! Its funny how little changes.

Carson (Rosa's boyfriend) came down for New Years weekend to hang out with us.
The End.

2006-01-04T22:03:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures from my Christmas! Enjoy!

Me Playing the Piano! I haven't tried in like three years and I still remembered! Yeah!

The Fam and The Food

Me and My Brother

My Mom and I

This is my seven and a half foot Christmas Tree!

2005-12-21T23:48:00.000-08:00

So, I have been attempting to be a vegetarian for the last few months and have discovered that the issue can be quite polemical. Here is a link to the wiki on environmental vegetarianism. It contains what were my deciding reasons to pursue vegetarianism. Also, I would very highly recommend the book Fast Food Nation, which addresses the meat industry and is an excellent critique of American culture. Note: Vegetarianism is not a cure-all for the world's problems but a small element of a conscientious lifestyle. I would get rid of cars before meat.

2005-12-21T22:44:00.000-08:00

Do you ever just get fed up with the world? Tired of ambiguous relationships and chronic drama? At this moment, I want to bury myself in a book and never speak to another fucked-up person. Ha! As if I could survive five minutes without talking! But I am truly frustrated with relationships. I feel like everyone just keeps doing the same old stupid crap, and I am supposed to sit here and complacently endure the emotional burden of their confusion. Sigh. So I have been forced to pray a lot. Forced because I shamefully admit that it is not my initial inclination to run to the Almighty. In the process, I have remembered how vital prayer is, not only for the cathartic and clarifying affect it has but for the genuine impact it has in altering the structure of the world. The simple acknowledgment of reality brings freedom. I admit my inadequacy and powerlessness and rely on the ultimate reality of God. I have been lamenting, sometimes crying the Psalms, which I highly recommend. They are so honest, even abrasive, and demand action from God. In order for true growth to happen in our relationship with God, there must be genuine dialogue between us and God. We must have the ability to assert our will against God, especially in matters of justice. If we are confined to being submissive and docile to God, we only have the capability of praise. God, then, becomes the underwriter of the social norm. Slowly, God becomes irrelevant as we realize he/she is not going to change any of the reality we face. God is shallow and impotent. Brueggeman writes,

The lament makes an assertion about God: that this dangerous, available God matters in every dimension of life. Where God’s dangerous availability is lost because we fail to carry on our part of the difficult conversation, where God’s vulnerability and passion are removed from our speech, we are consigned to anxiety and despair and the world as we now have it becomes absolutized. Our understanding of faith is altered dramatically, depending on whether God is a dead cipher who cannot be addressed and is only the silent guarantor of the status quo, or whether God can be addressed in risky ways as the transformer of what has not yet appeared.

Wow. So... go ye therefore and pray.

2005-12-20T12:30:00.000-08:00

So, I have recently discovered Japanese wood block prints. I like the simplcity of composition, the clean lines, and of course the nature scenes. This one fit my mood last night.

2005-12-20T00:07:00.000-08:00

The obstacle between us and God is not what is imperfect in us - the fragility, the truculence, the dithering lust and outbursts of rage (God can deal with all that) - but our belief that we are unworthy of being loved, incapable of greatness, people of little value, power, or gifts.

- Engaging the Powers, Walter Wink, 319.

2005-12-10T01:34:00.000-08:00

I just witnessed a case of domestic abuse. You may know that my second floor apartment overlooks the street. It was about 12.30AM, and I was sitting writing a paper on feminist ethics (ironically) when I heard screaming, a slap and the dull thud of kicks. I looked out the window and saw a girl about my age lying on the ground next to her bike with her boyfriend standing over her. There was a group of their friends standing around yelling at each other. And here I was, this little rich educated seminarian standing up in the window staring at them in horror. I felt like such an intruder. And I was so shocked. For a moment I had a birds' eye view of the violence, fear, and oppression faced by many everyday. And then... no one did anything. They didn't even call the police; someone else did. The girl refused to file a report, and though I hope she will change her mind I cannot feign optimism. I just want to cry, hold them in my arms, tell them of the beauty and goodness within them, and give them a vision of the hope Christ has called them to. Sigh. Nouwen wrote of "the burden of reality". "Can we carry the burden of reality? How can we remain open to all human tragedies and aware of the vast ocean of human suffering without becoming mentally paralyzed and depressed? How can we even smile when we keep being confronted by pictures of tortures and executions?" But still we must "ask ourselves how many games we play with ourselves and how many walls we keep erecting to prevent ourselves from knowing and feeling the burden of human solidarity."

Look with pity, O Heavenly Father and Mother, upon the people in this land who live in injustice, terror, disease, and death as their constant companions. Have mercy upon us. Help us to eliminate our cruelty to these our neighbors. Strengthen those who spend their lives establishing equal protection of the law and equal opportunities for all. And grant that every one of us may enjoy a fair portion for the riches of this our land; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen
-From the Book of Common Prayer

2005-12-09T11:53:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to share one of my favorite art nouveau artists with you, Alphonse Mucha.

2005-12-07T19:08:00.000-08:00

About the vertically scrolling marquee that I worked SO frickin' hard on... It seems to work on some computers and not on others. It works on mine, but I cannot figure out how to make sure it works on everyone's. Sorry.

So I played in the intramural flag football championships last Saturday. My team was ranked number one, and I REALLY wanted the championship shirt. We were supposed to play three games, and we lost on the first one! It was shameful and degrading. I hate losing. So that was it, we were out of the tournament. *crying* The one highlight of the game was when I rushed and grabbed the QBs flag before he threw the ball. I am very proud of the that. ;)

Then I went home on Sunday and saw lots of old friends and got into a debate about world hunger. (I am pretty sure everyone at home is a conservative republican.) This guys said that the state had absolutely no responsibility ot even address world hunger. That really pissed me off. I am going to write up a response in a couple days after the chaos of finals has blown over. Until then, study hard, love God, and do something stupid.

2005-12-01T19:29:00.000-08:00

Okay, back from Target. And the damn exegetical paper still looms, so what can I do instead of it....

My review of Pride and Prejudice:
So, I saw Pride and Prejudice. It is my favorite book, and the A&E 6-hour version is one of my favorite movies. I was honestly expecting to find something awfully wrong with it and a good reason why I should hate it. How could they fit that storyline in two hours? I still don't know how they did it. It is true the movie has a fast pace, but the screenwriter has condensed the plot into the main points. They take some artistic liberties (e.g. the ending two scenes are completely Hollywood and romanticized, they rewrite and shorten the letters, they simplify trips and scenes), but usually it was in good taste. The bust of Darcy is so much more moving than the actual miniature. Lady deBourgh's abrupt arrival in the middle of the night expresses the shock of her visit to modern viewers more realistically than her actual afternoon call. Of course, it must be known that I am a hopeless romantic and idealist. The changes may not please a literary critic, but it is a movie not a book. Some of my favorite lines are missing, and some of the characters lose depth. Allowances must be made.

On the whole I was pleasantly surprised. Keira Knightley is a very good Lizzy, better than Jennifer Ehle actually. I was always quite discontent with Ehle's acting in the scene where she discovers of Lydia's elopement. Knightley does a much better job. I was never too keen on Knightley in previous films though she is gorgeous; she has risen in my eyes. Darcy was good too. His character is much more complex and human than Firth's portrayal. Oh, and the cinematography is good. There are lots of long complex shots that bring the viewer into the daily life of the Bennets. The close-ups were very well done and enhanced the acting. The shots often expressed emotion unable to be expressed in that society and made the chemistry between Darcy and Lizzy tangible. They did have great chemistry. Final thing: I bought the soundtrack as soon as I got home. It is classical and in the style of the time, mostly strings and piano. I have listened to it for almost a week now. Great study music. I will end my novel now. Oh wait, the movie highlighted Lizzy's modern, independent, feminist attitude rebeling against the plight of the restricted female role (represented by Charlotte). Definitely a big theme in the book but others were equally strong. It missed some, not all, of the triviality and humor of tradition and society. And I thought that Mr. and Mrs. Bennet and Bingley and Jane were better (perhaps due to more character development) in the A&E version, but Lady deBourgh (Dame Judy Dench) was phenomenal.

2005-12-01T16:30:00.000-08:00

You'll notice an added link to my HomePage, which has pcitures from a recent mission trip to Chihuahua, Mexico and a link to the new Pride and Prejudice movie website (not very interesting but I wanted to put something on there). I recently saw the movie - twice. Wait... Katrine (roomie) and I have to go to Target. Later Gator.

2005-11-30T23:17:00.000-08:00

A Gorgeous Sunset Over Tiberias

The Cave at Qumran

Me on a Camel!

Me, My Mom and My Grandma at the Garden Tomb

2005-11-30T23:13:00.000-08:00

The Wailing Wall
It was the most spiritually moving moment of my trip.

Sea of Galilee

My Mother and I

Joy at the Wailing Wall

View of the Mt. of Olives

I am actually floating (no hands!) in the Dead Sea!

2005-11-30T23:10:00.000-08:00

Caesarea Philippi
Roman, so it was amazing

2005-11-28T16:59:00.000-08:00

Well, I guess its time to officialy begin my blog. And when faced with writing an exegetical paper as my only alternative, I will allow anything to distract me. I have just recently returned from Israel with lots of crazy stories to tell about my week with Benny Hinn. It was a conflicting trip! The faith of my childhood clashed with my current faith. I have never realized how true the term "bubble" is of our worlds. We begin to think that some beliefs are obvious and take them for granted. I felt like an outsider the whole time and struggled to remember that my version of Christianity is not odd or heretical. The people pleaser in me wanted to be the perfect, tongues-speaking, prosperity-thinking little Christian girl, but the ethicist in me wanted to prophetically speak against individualism, materialism, and judgment. Well, I managed not to do either (sadly). I will be posting pictures soon, including some from my tumultuous thanksgiving.

2005-11-10T22:41:00.000-08:00

By Gerard Manley Hopkins

Glory be to God for dappled things--
For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow;
For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;
Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches' wings;
Landscape plotted and pieced--fold, fallow, and plough;
And áll trádes, their gear and tackle and trim.
All things counter, original, spare, strange;
Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)
With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;
He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change: Praise Him.